Sitting at a bar with two friends one evening, one shared that he suspected his wife was having an affair. We asked why he thought that. He explained that her job at a bank, a job she had had for many years, was always a 9-5 kind of job, but recently, she had begun to work a lot of late nights and even weekends and some overnights.
“Read the neon signs,” my other friend advised.
That memory resurfaced while I was walking the dog this morning and begged the question, “What neon signs am I not reading?”
Sometimes ignoring reality is much easier than facing it. Looking back on my life, I can see many times when I refused to read the neon signs. I did not want to face the truth and have to deal with the fallout. I have often taken the attitude that if I ignore something long enough, it will go away, which can work.
But, living that way requires me to ignore my intuition and to suppress my feelings. It takes a lot of energy to deny reality and to pretend that everything is okay when, at some level, I know it is not.
God calls me to pull my head from the sand and face the difficulties I have been trying to avoid, the reality I have been ignoring. God calls me to live in a truth that sets me free.
Sometimes, as in my friend’s situation, the signs are pretty clear. Other times, though, the signs are not as easy to see.
I must be in one of those cloudy periods now, because I don’t have a clue why this memory came back to me or what new lesson it is inviting me to learn. I can’t see what I can’t see, and I don’t know what I don’t know.
Could the neon signs be related to my relationship with Jesus and how I am feeling disconnected?
Could it have something to do with my desire to move from full-time work to semi-retirement?
Or does it have something to do with forming new relationships as I settle into life in Michigan?
I pray that God will open my eyes so I can see what is probably right in front of me—and then give me the courage to act. I want to be free. I want my life to be authentic.