My heart was a theme during my retreat last month. I sometimes worry that my heart has become too guarded or even closed.
The last seven years have been a time of great loss for me, so I understand my inclination to protect my heart from being broken again. I also know that a broken heart can be the most loving heart if I allow the fissures to heal rather than become deep crevices, if I allow the breaks to be entrances rather than chasms that are impossible to cross.
At the end of the movie Frozen, Elsa declares, “Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart.”
I cried as I watched this children’s movie—and not just a few tears trickling from my eyes, but wrenching sobs escaping from my heart. Did Elsa’s insight touch me because my heart is frozen? And what act of true love could thaw my frozen heart?
Many people have touched my heart with friendship and great acts of generosity and kindness throughout my life. I have been abundantly blessed.
So in an attempt to unthaw my heart and as an act of love, I decided to write a letter every day during February and connect with people who have been loving toward me. Twenty-eight days of love—that is how I have been thinking of February.
Every morning in prayer, I pay attention to who comes to mind, whose name is planted on my heart that day, and then I write a note.
Two things I learned from this practice:
The first is that praying about the people I love sparks memories and gratitude. Images float into my consciousness, recollections of friends rush in and warm my heart. I am reminded of how blessed I am to be so loved.
The second is a reminder of the benefits of discipline.
Discipline disposes us toward whatever we are practicing. Prayer, meditation, acts of kindness, service, etc., dispose us toward positivity. Starting my day with thoughts of love predisposes me to look for love during the day—and helps me to more quickly identify words and acts that are not loving. Awareness helps me make better choices throughout the day.
Facebook reminded me this week that I started this blog four years ago. Writing daily and posting weekly has been a good discipline for me.
Discerning what to share in my blog helps me see more clearly where God is calling me to grow, especially when I write about a frustration or some old hurt and its residual anger. The discipline of writing also helps me to be more aware of everyday blessings and the many, ordinary ways God touches my life.
What we focus on becomes a bigger part of us.
I want to focus on trust instead of fear and on love instead of hate. I want my words and actions to remind me daily that Jesus’ heart is all love and that I am invited to live that love.